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Thread: THE AFFORDABLE BOAT ACT

  1. #1
    Team Dirt Bag NUTTZ T8er S.'s Avatar
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    THE AFFORDABLE BOAT ACT

    The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014.



    These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.



    This law has been passed, because until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a new boat. If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 "free" life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.



    In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must purchase their own boat.



    If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can’t). If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one or can’t afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one or face imprisonment.



    Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert; ghettos; inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.



    A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port, starboard or stern sides of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories,(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat. Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so...it’s only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.



    Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) are also exempt.



    I was going to order one Today, but the website was down, I’m sure they will fix it, I will try again tomorrow!!!!


    Last edited by T8er S.; 11-01-2013 at 07:06 PM. Reason: splash log

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  3. #2
    Team Dirt Bag NUTTZ T8er S.'s Avatar
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    Re: THE AFFORDABLE BOAT ACT

    While on a weekend camping trip at a particularly crowded lake, a little boy walks down the beach to the water's edge with an M80 and his piggy bank. He lights the M80 and tosses it into the water and then before the water can rush back into the hole he immediately throws in his piggy bank, much to the amazement of onlookers. Obviously perplexed by his actions one of the mothers approaches him and asks "Young man, just what do you think you are you doing?" "Oh I'm playing a game, maam" he replied. "And just what on earth kind of game is that?" she continued. "It's called
    jet boat owner"
    Last edited by T8er S.; 01-23-2018 at 05:26 PM. Reason: blame it on the boom boom

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    Re: THE AFFORDABLE BOAT ACT

    Typical Jet Boaters conversation....."Its windy today!" , buddy replies "No, today is Thursday." Next buddy "I am thirsty too! Toss me a beer!!!"
    Heavy Lake Lay Up Family Boat Ready To Race Any Takers

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  7. #4

    Re: THE AFFORDABLE BOAT ACT

    Quote Originally Posted by "THE ADVOCATE" View Post
    Typical Jet Boaters conversation....."Its windy today!" , buddy replies "No, today is Thursday." Next buddy "I am thirsty too! Toss me a beer!!!"
    That cuz those dang loud header..... other guy says, I’m not Indian, and I don’t wear a head dress....?
    AG6= Amazing Grace VI *
    1980 BIESEMEYER 27' VIKING

  8. #5
    Team Dirt Bag NUTTZ T8er S.'s Avatar
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    Re: THE AFFORDABLE BOAT ACT

    I need all beer drinkers to send me your empties so I can build this boat...

    Last edited by T8er S.; 02-03-2018 at 04:08 AM. Reason: switch to cans

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  10. #6

    Re: THE AFFORDABLE BOAT ACT

    Sorry, I switched to glass cuz I got more from the recycling centers...DOH!!!!
    Did you know you can buy the entire ‘can’ complete from HamiltonJet with a 430Hp LS3
    14.41 ft long lil over 3/8” thick keel, ready to go with 3 stage Hj212 pump.....
    http://www.hamiltonmarine.co.nz/. Food for thought....
    Last edited by AG6; 02-03-2018 at 04:19 PM. Reason: That’s a lot of Hp for 14.4 ft long.....
    AG6= Amazing Grace VI *
    1980 BIESEMEYER 27' VIKING

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