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Thread: Guts & Balls

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    Team Dirt Bag NUTTZ T8er S.'s Avatar
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    Re: Guts & Balls

    Last edited by T8er S.; 11-03-2012 at 07:21 PM. Reason: better vid!!

  2. #12
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    Re: Guts & Balls

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    Last edited by T8er S.; 06-10-2014 at 03:33 PM. Reason: poor favor

  3. #13
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    Re: Guts & Balls

    The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
    Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible motorcycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
    You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.
    "Phil was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
    Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil.
    "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
    All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
    A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
    He said, "I'm Phil." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife, once again, the word is sternum."
    Last edited by T8er S.; 06-11-2014 at 02:23 PM. Reason: click clack

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  5. #14
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    Re: Guts & Balls

    A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends..Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.
    He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?'
    She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.'
    'Why?' he asked.
    She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!'
    'Let me see' he said.
    'Okay' and she showed him.. He looked and said, 'That's right.You are! Better not eat any more chicken.'
    He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl,
    'I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!' She asked if she could look, so he showed her!
    She said, 'Oh, my God, it's too late for you!
    You've already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Last edited by T8er S.; 07-12-2018 at 05:25 PM. Reason: chicken stick

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