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Thread: Guts & Balls

  1. #1

    Guts & Balls

    To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words: there is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

    In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

    GUTS - is arriving home late, after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask, 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

    BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, and slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say, 'You're next, Chubby.'

    I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome. Both result in death.
    It's Impossible to Lose Your Footing, If Your On Your Knees"

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  3. #2
    Team Dirt Bag NUTTZ T8er S.'s Avatar
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    Re: Guts & Balls

    Well then I have neither.

  4. #3
    Just call me "Infidel" Site Admin David's Avatar
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    Re: Guts & Balls

    Quote Originally Posted by T8er S. View Post
    Well then I have neither.
    Apparently neither do I?
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  5. #4

    Re: Guts & Balls

    I know I have guts, I got married a 3rd time.

    I also have balls, and as soon as the wife gets home I'll get them out of her purse and get a pic.
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  7. #5

    Re: Guts & Balls

    For some reason that joke reminded me of this catchy little tune.lol

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  9. #6
    Just call me "Infidel" Site Admin David's Avatar
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    Re: Guts & Balls

    Too funny!!!
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  10. #7

    Re: Guts & Balls

    Quote Originally Posted by David View Post
    Too funny!!!
    X2
    It's Impossible to Lose Your Footing, If Your On Your Knees"

  11. #8

    Re: Guts & Balls

    lol
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    Team Dirt Bag NUTTZ T8er S.'s Avatar
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    Re: Guts & Balls

    A recent Scottish immigrant attends his first baseball game in his new country and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring run....run! The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run you bastard, r-run will you!" A third batter slams a hit and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run you bastard, r-r-run will you!" The next batter held his swing at three and two and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up yelling "R-r-run you bastard, r-r-run!" All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment whisper, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls." After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"

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    Re: Guts & Balls

    A husband and wife are watching a National Geographic special on an indiginous tribe in central Africa. The tribe is known for the males having 24" penises. When a young male in the tribe reaches puberty the village elders attach a series of weights to the young mans appendage and he wears them around until it is stretched to an amazing size.
    That night in bed the wife asks the husband if maybe they could expirement with the tribes culture? The husband agreed to the experiment and attached some string and weights first thing in the morning.
    About three weeks go by with the husband in obvious discomfort. The wife finally asks him how the results are coming...
    "Were halfway there!" the husband told her.
    "Really, 12inches already?!" the wife exclaimed!!!!
    "No," the husband exclaimed..."but it turned black!!"
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